It happens to all of us. We get caught up in the rat race of life. The next thing you know your relationship is set to “auto pilot” mode. Seemed to be working initially. Now you’re feeling frustrated, lonely, maybe even falling out of love. It’s not too late! Whether you’re in a new relationship or have been married for decades, these 5 tips can help kickstart your relationship today.
- Do something new together
Sharing a new experience with someone is exciting and engaging. It can be as simple as starting a new Netflix series together or trying that new restaurant in town, or as big as exploring a nearby town or hiking that trail that just hasn’t fit into your schedule.
2. Share memories of each other
When you share a positive memory of your partner with them, it can take you both back to a time when the connection seemed to “just happen”. It can remind you both that it’s possible to have again. Maybe it’s a memory of your first impression of them or a memory of that time you tried to make a fancy dinner and it was an epic fail so you ended up eating take out in your PJ’s on the couch instead. Often times we forget about all the good that has been.
3. Laugh…and laugh some more
We’ve all heard laughter is the best medicine. Research supports it. It can help you come out of a bad mood and it can help you feel more connected with your partner. A few ideas to get you laughing again might be to watch a funny movie together, attempt that new dance that’s all the craze, or find a way to laugh at yourself. Think about things you’ve both done in the past that made you laugh and do some aspect of them again.
4. Touch, every day and often
Touch, another basic human need. You may be saying, but I’m not a touchy feely person. You don’t have to be. Touch includes sitting close on the couch, a kiss as you leave for work, or touch your partners back as you walk past them. All of these little interactions say, “Hey, remember me? I want to be a part of your life.” You’d be surprised at how your partner will then start touching you more.
5.Validate, validate, validate
If you take nothing away from this other than to validate your partner’s feelings, then you’re doing good. What does validate mean anyway, this therapist-y term? It just means to acknowledge someones feelings, like saying, “That must have been so difficult. How can I help you feel better?”
Relationships go through ebbs and flows. It’s normal. What you don’t want to happen is to wake up one day many years down the road and ask yourself, “How did it get this far gone?”. Become friends again. It’s an important part of the foundation in any relationship.